Gen Y: Full of Nothing But Selfish, Entitled, “Me, Me, Me” People

Written on December 18, 2009 by Lisa Morosky in Everything Else, Ramblings

Recently, I caught an episode of Dr. Phil which was all about Gen Y (or “Gen Me”, as it was referred to throughout the show).

The show had the absolute worst guests they could possibly find (to prove a point, I’m sure). The guests essentially had lifelong dreams that they just expected to come true without any effort. The show painted just a horrible picture of the members of Gen Y. In fact, it pissed me off enough that I sent a tweet to Dr. Phil about it (and I never tweet to celebrities).

So I’ve decided to pick out the major points from this show and discuss how utterly ridiculous they are.

Now at this point, I know that I’m the exception to the rule. Most 23-year-olds probably aren’t married, and the sole provider for a family, and decided to quit their job randomly to pursue a passion. I get that.

But still – I determine if a stereotype is true by looking at those I know that it involves (i.e., others my age, in this case) and seeing if the trends are true. And these trends are so not true.

Our use of social media has made us so accustomed to having information right now, that we expect that in every aspect of our life, and therefore have zero patience or tolerance.
I guess I don’t understand what social media has to do with anything. Most people I know don’t use social media as an all-encompassing way to get information. If anything, this mindset was ingrained in us way before social media, by the creation of the Internet.

Sure, those of us who have grown up with the Internet don’t like to waste time looking for information when we can just go online and get it now. But I just don’t see how that translates into other aspects of life.

Your lack of general patience and tolerance in life is more of a product of your upbringing, than of social media.

We have plans, but we have no way of accomplishing them. So, we just wait for things to happen because we’re lazy.
Well, obviously this isn’t the case for me. But taking myself out of it, a lot of my friends don’t fit into this generalization either.

Newsflash: laziness isn’t a trait of a generation. It’s a trait of a singular person. And that singular person learned it from (you guessed it) their upbringing.

Our parents have enabled this behavior.
Once again, it depends. For a lot of kids I went to high school with (I went to a more upper-class high school on a military base), I’m sure this is the case. Why work hard when you have everything handed to you?

But for those I chose to surround myself with in high school (and in college and in life in general), hard work is a reality. And where did we gain our work ethic? Our parents. So this largely depends on the type of parents you have.

We all have dreams of being rich and famous and that’s why we’re so narcissistic and use social media.
I do think that my generation has gotten this idea that it’s really easy to be famous because of this phenomenon called reality TV. You no longer need talent to be famous. You just need to know how to milk the system.

But that’s where my agreement ends.

No one I know uses social media because they want to be famous, or because they just love looking at themselves all day. Everyone I know uses social media to keep in touch with family and friends.

The entire show was like a self-help book for those who just “can’t relate” to Gen Y.
The show was a bunch of “old” people saying, “Those darn kids!”. They were trying to figure out how to relate to this generation.

What’s there to relate to? We’re just people. Leave the Gen Y out of it and learn to relate to individual people. People forget that this whole issue isn’t new. My grandparents’ generation thought my parents’ generation was lazy and didn’t want to work. It’s just how it goes.

When you do shows like these you’re just perpetuating a generational stereotype that is neither fair nor true.

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http://www.mikeslife.org Mike CJ

I loved this! A lot of it stems from the almost obsessive trait I see in the US for labelling people. It just doesn't happen here in Europe. In fact I hadn't even heard of Gen Y until I started reading US blogs, and I had to Google it.

If you give a group a label, people will spend time trying to attach characteristics to the group.

Interestingly I have a daughter who would be called Gen Y over there (I had her very young (!)) So I know her and a lot of her friends very well. In my opinion, as a group, they are the brightest, hardest working, most talented generation I've seen in my time. And I think the world will be a better place when they can add experience to that heady cocktail.
http://website-in-a-weekend.net/ Dave Doolin

It's all so very stupid.

These are the same people that brought you “don't trust anyone over 30,” 30 years ago.

I like the generation under 30 right now quite a bit. Overall, they seem more sensible, hard working, extremely egalitarian, and less judgemental than most of the 30+ generation. They certainly seem to have a lot less hangups, and a lot more willing to just get on with it. Refreshing.

Don't get me started on people my own age… still listening to Foghat and Night Ranger. Ugh. =)
http://www.notaproblog.com Jordan Cooper

Lisa, do you not think the obsession with a kid's self-esteem nowadays is affecting a big proportion of the “Gen Y” population when they approach their work ethic? It's not necessarily a feeling of entitlement, but this whole “everyone's a winner” mentality that was ingrained into them growing up.

Of course, labels aren't all-encompassing and it may not apply to everyone in “Gen Y” – but I see many in this demographic failing to transition well into a business world where you CAN “lose”.
http://LisaMorosky.com Lisa Morosky

Interesting thought. I remember playing softball in elementary school and everyone got a trophy. There is this big fear about needing to be very careful with a kid's self-esteem. My opinion on that is you can teach a kid that life isn't all rainbows and puppy dogs, without deflating their self-esteem. Actually, this notion was mentioned on the show. And I can't remember what Dr. Phil said about the whole thing.

I'm going to play the “I think it depends more on your upbringing than your generation” card again here though.

This is an incredible generalization and stereotype, but bare with me here: if you grow up in a rich household where everyone you know literally is a “winner” without much effort, then perhaps you're going to perpetuate that mentality. But if you grow up in a household where nothing was handed to you, then you might be more inclined to accept and adjust to “losing”.

But maybe I'm just, ya know, talking out of somewhere else – because I quit my job because I had little tolerance for being treated badly, and not being acknowledged as an asset. So maybe you're right.

How's that for a contradictory reply?
http://LisaMorosky.com Lisa Morosky

Really? There was a “don't trust anyone over 30″ movement? I never knew that.

I think you're right. But when Gen Y grows up, we'll probably just be the next generation of old people saying, “Them and their music.” and “Get off my lawn.” It's all relative.
http://LisaMorosky.com Lisa Morosky

That is a REALLY interesting second sentence there Mike. Since I live in the US, I'm (of course) used to the labeling. And in fact, when reading your comment, I had a lightbulb cultural moment of “Uhh…people aren't like this everywhere?”. That's fabulous.
http://www.notaproblog.com Jordan Cooper

It obviously depends on your upbringing, for sure – but I don't think the rich/poor divide plays as much of a role as you think. Children will predominantly take on traits of their parents due to sheer amount of influence they have on them. Regardless of your financial background, if you show your kids that hard work pays and there are consequences for slacking off, it will most likely stick with them.

Sure, there are many examples of “trust fund babies” who got used to never putting a day's hard work into anything… but there are just as many who got involved with the “family business” at a young age because their parents wanted them to learn what it took for them to become successful.

Same applies on the other end of the spectrum. There are a lot of Gen Y'ers who had to endure growing up with parents working two jobs for low pay just to put food on the table. This exemplary work ethic gets passed down to them in their entrepreneurial endeavors – just that they're now focusing the energy on a “passion” independently so *their* kids don't have to grow up in the same situation.

In either case, the generation entering their 20's now have many more paths to success than it's ever been possible before. The uphill battle now is dealing with the baby boomers in charge who still believe the cookie cutter methodology of life passed down to them by *their* parents. It will be interesting to see how kids 30 years from now are affected by this drastic shift in thinking – will the 9 to 5 cubicle job, 2.5 kids, 401k, white picket fence mentality eventually be washed away?
http://www.tallysplace.blgspot.com/ Cindi

This was a great post. I quit watching Dr. Phil a while ago because it seems like he is trying to be something he isn't; a good therapist! I'm 42 and I believe most people that know me would say I'm a hard worker. I learned it from my parents at an early age. They were also hard workers and they learned it from their parents. My children, 20, 18, and 16 are all hard workers as well. Hard work to achieve what you want is something tha was talked about in our home. But more importantly, their dad and I worked hard to provide them with what they had and they saw it. I think you hit the nail on the head when you said it all comes from your upbringing. I know plenty of “kids” the same age as my children who are lazy and expect everything for free. Their parents haven't provided them with a strong work ethic. (I can only say this about some of them because we have lived in the samearea and I went to high school, etc. with some of them.) Thanks again for the well-written post and letting me “talk” about something inteeligent with another blogger.
http://www.mikeslife.org Mike CJ

It does seem to be a very American thing. I was talking about it the bar in my village last night, and nobody had come across terms like baby boomer, generation X and Y.

About the only label we could think of that's used here in Spain is one I've always liked – older, retired people are referred to as being “Tercera edad” or in the third stage of their lives. We agreed that everyone else are just “people:”
sharalynhartwel

Lisa, I really appreciated your bringing this to my attention. I missed that Dr. Phil episode and I, like you, am quite disappointed with the portrayal. I am the National Gen Y Columnist for the Examiner dot com. I see these stereotypes everywhere. The truth is there are people who do perpetuate the stereotypes (like the dummies on that show, sheesh) but, so many more are refuting them. But, when the media focuses purely on the negatives, it just perpetuates them. It is difficult to classify everyone just based on their generational membership, but there are definitely lessons we can learn. Thanks for helping to take a stand, it goes with a series I did in my column in November all about refuting the stereotypes. The series highlighted 52 Gen Y'ers, just like you, who are doing great things. I hope this starts to catch on eventually.
http://LisaMorosky.com Lisa Morosky

Hi Sharalyn. Thanks for stopping by! I'm going to look you up on Examiner. I always enjoy hearing other people's commentary on Gen Y.

I think you're right – there are lessons we can learn here, and we can also call out those who are completely opposite of the stereotypes and give them the spotlight they deserve.

Thanks for your comment!
http://www.taylormarek.com taylormarek

Thank you so much for the explanation. I hate it when other generations like to label us and throw us in the back corner. That exact mentality is what affected them and THEIR parents! Then they wonder why they “can't understand us”. If anything, we work our butts of at any task given to us, just like (and possibly even moreso) than previous generations. Keep up the good work, you're not the only voice out there.
http://taylormarek.com/ taylormarek

Thank you so much for the explanation. I hate it when other generations like to label us and throw us in the back corner. That exact mentality is what affected them and THEIR parents! Then they wonder why they “can't understand us”. If anything, we work our butts of at any task given to us, just like (and possibly even moreso) than previous generations. Keep up the good work, you're not the only voice out there.